Equipping Pastors International, Inc. Dr. Jack L. Arnold
Lesson 8
The Role of Godly Grandparents
ÒAn old manÕs grandchildren are his crowning gloryÓ (Prov. 17:6). This
is why grandparents are always bragging about their grandchildren. The Bible says very little about
grandparents, yet, we know they had
a big impact on children in biblical times. In those days, grandparents lived in the same home with
their children and grandchildren.
They were respected for their age, position and wisdom. They watched children when parents were
gone and did house chores when they could. Grandparents were constantly imparting their knowledge and
wisdom to their grandchildren.
This was the biblical family at its best.
However, our modern society generally has divided
grandparents from grandchildren because of the extended family. Our mobile, transient culture divides
families instead of bringing them together. It is much more difficult to be a grandparent today but it
is not impossible. Praise God for
the telephone, automobile, computer, airplane, video camera and the postal
service, which makes distance seem a little shorter.
If you are a grandparent who
has your grandchildren close by, be sure and thank God for this marvelous
blessing.
Duties and privileges of
grandparents have not changed in 2000 years but the means of accomplishing a
relationship with grandchildren has changed. The greatest responsibility of a grandparent is to give the
grandchildren a spiritual heritage, to give them years of spiritual wisdom
based on life, not books, and to give the grandchildren assurance that old age
is part of GodÕs plan for oneÕs life.
Relationship
with Sons and Daughters-in-Law
It is the duty and
responsibility of grandparents to have a positive and close relationship with
their sons and daughter-in-laws.
Grandparents will never have the kind of relationship with grandchildren
they desire unless there is harmony with in-laws. Mothers and fathers who do not get along with in-laws will
overtly or covertly poison grandchildren towards their grandparents. There are multitudes of moms and dads
who do not even speak with in-laws and this spells disaster for the
grandchildren.
Relationship
with SonÕs and Daughters-In-LawÕs Parents
Grandparents should also work
very hard to know and have a relationship with the parents of their sons and
daughter-in-laws. There may come a
time when both sets of parents will have to pull together to help their
childrenÕs marriage and preserve their relationship with the grandchildren,
especially when a divorce occurs or death of one of the parents or financial
problems hit a family.
Know
Your Grandchildren.
Make sure your grandchildren know you. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder. Spend time with your grandchildren. Use the phone regularly,
send pictures to remind the children you do exist. Plan to see your grandchildren as much as possible.
Several
years ago we called my son Mark and his five-year-old
daughter answered the phone. Carol and I identified ourselves
and had a sweet talk. Then Carol
asked Kasey if we could speak to her dad.
She put down the phone and said, ÒDaddy, Grandma Carol and Uncle Jack
are on the phone.Ó Mark picked up the phone and said, ÒDad, you have been away
too long!Ó
Teach
Your Grandchildren
When you are with your
grandchildren, leave them the general wisdom and talents you have accumulated
over the years. Teach the kids how
to build things, fix things, how to do sports, how to read books or study. Grandparents have years of life
experience, which no book can teach and they should leave this knowledge with
their grandchildren.
Grandparents are not only to
leave a spiritual inheritance for their grandchildren, but also a physical
one. It is recommended in the
Bible that financial wealth should be left to children and to the childrenÕs
children. ÒA good man leaves an inheritance
for his childrenÕs children.Ó (Prov. 13:22). In our day when accumulation of money
is so difficult, it is very important to help grandchildren get a start in life
if we are able to do so.
ÒBut from everlasting to everlasting the LordÕs love is with those who
fear him, and his righteousness with their childrenÕs children—with those
who keep his covenant and remember to obey his preceptsÓ (Psa. 103:17-18). ÒI have been reminded of your sincere
faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice
and, I am persuaded, now lives in you alsoÓ (2 Tim. 1:5).
Pray
for Your Grandchildren.
Grandparents are to pray for
their grandchildren. Perhaps they
have more time than their parents to pray. Prayer can be effective for grandchildren whether they live
next door or in a foreign country.
Most Christians underestimate the power of prayer.
Leave
a Spiritual Heritage for Your Grandchildren.
Grandparents can give
grandchildren a wonderful Christian heritage. They should be committed to direct communication with the
grandchildren about the things Christ has taught them through the years. Godly grandparents can make a huge
impact upon children for Christ and His kingdom. Sometimes grandparents can share with their grandchildren
things the parents cannot say or may have difficulty sharing.
Grow
Old Graciously in Christ before Your Grandchildren.
It is the responsibility of
grandparents to show the grandchildren how to grow old graciously in Christ
without griping, complaining or bitterness. The grandchildren will have a whole different perspective
about growing old if they have grandparents who are living positively for
Christ.
Die in
Christ Before Your Grandchildren.
Grandparents have the
responsibility to show the grandchildren how to die in Christ. Most likely the
first death of a loved one for a child will be a grandparent. Grandparents can talk about death to
the kids explaining how Christ died for sins and was resurrected from the dead
to give us eternal life. Grandparents
can communicate that they believe in the resurrection of the dead unto eternal
bliss and that the sting of death is lessened by a personal, living faith in
Christ. Children need to know that grandparents are anxiously waiting to see
Christ face to face. This is the
time for grandparents to talk to children about dying grace and the sufficiency
of Christ to take them through the last earthly event and be victorious over
the last enemy—death!
For me the ideal way to die
would be in my home with all my family—children and grandchildren
gathered around the bed talking of Jesus, quoting verses, and singing
hymns. It probably won't happen
that way but I wish it would, yet however it happens,
I want my life and death to be a testimony to my grandchildren.
My closing words to
grandparents are that in life, in old age, and in death, you must turn
completely to Christ, who will give you the grace, the strength and power to
live and die for Him. Only Christ
can grant you the ability to live and die.
As grandparents, your motto
should be that of the Apostle Paul who said, ÒFor to me to live is Christ and
to die is gainÓ (Phil. 1:21). And
that attitude should be reflected to your children and your childrenÕs
children.